Attention All Weirdos!

    Sometimes I think there is a sign on my head that says all weirdos please attract your attention this way. According to my friend, "You attract the creepers"  Yesterday was an exceptionally good example of that. They seemed to be hitting me from all sides!
   First I was sitting at my kitchen table before work yesterday when suddenly the door opens. I looked up suprised because I wasn't expecting anyone. Well whoever was at the door wasn't expecting me either. She said, "Hi I was told this is a vacant apartment and the manager said he'd leave the door open for me to check it out" My reply, "Obviously I live here, but if you want to look around you are welcome to." Creeper, "No, if I were you I would be angry." Me "Why? mistakes happen" Creeper "Maybe it's the wrong address" Me "Can I see it and I'll tell you where you should go?" Creeper" No! I'll just call the landlord"
   Incase you couldn't follow that converstation between me and creeper she refused to let me tell her which apartment she was supposed to go to, and then she acted all awkward and got away as fast as possible. Breaking and entering? Hard to say. Creepy definitely!
   Ironically that is only the beginning of the weirdo alerts from the day. Litterally ten minutes later as I walked to work a kid I'd seen before turns around as I'm walking by and says, "Hey, you're the bookstore lady" (random back story... in a nutshell this kid has called me bookstore lady before when I was at the grocery store a while back...)
  Then the last and final awesome moment of the day. At work a 80 year old man comes up to me and asks me how I'm doing. I tell him well, and ask if there is anything I can do for him. He starts off on this huge list of things I can do for him. First, imagine that he has a mirror in his hand and that I'm looking into  and pretend he's telling me how beautiful I am today. Second, drive safely everywhere I go that day. Third, to have such a good day that people who knew I was telling the truth would still think I was lying because it was so good. Then he told me he need to go get some vittles. I asked what that meant (food who knew?) He challenged me to look up some literature from the south and read so that I would know words like that. (Ironic interchange for a linguistics major) Finally I asked his name and he said it and then started listing off numbers. I thanked him for his service in the military and he said, no that's my student id number from 1964. (yes apparently this number gets really engrained in your head) He used it to identify himself for me. Then he went on his way and I watched as he gave similiar talks to other people all along his way.
    Okay, so maybe weird is a harsh word. For the most part the encounters I had were with nice people, but they are surely odd if nothing more. Honestly, I am thankful for the odd ones for two reasons... they make me look relatively normal, and they make my life a lot more entertaining. So here ye weird ones keep coming my way!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Mother’s Day Hurts: Infertility and the Silent Struggle

Image
Mother’s Day is a beautiful time of celebration for many. But for those who are walking the difficult path of infertility, it can be a day of heartache, quiet grief, and unspoken longing. While others are surrounded by flowers, cards, and family gatherings, many women feel left out of a celebration that touches the deepest part of their identity and hope. Why It Hurts Infertility is a private sorrow that often goes unseen. Every pregnancy announcement, baby shower, or Mother’s Day tribute can feel like a reminder of what hasn’t happened yet—or what may never come. The pain is real, even if it’s invisible to others. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once compassionately said: “To you who are single, widowed, divorced, or have no children, I say: Do not lose hope. The Lord loves you. He knows your heart. He has not forgotten you.” —Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother”, April 1997 This reassurance is vital. God sees the whole picture. He understands the desires of our hearts and ho...
Read more

The Battle to Be Still

Image
Post surgery I continue to hear the phrase "just rest!" It's ironic because this phrase has created an internal and external battle for me. I have not been blessed with the gift of being still. In fact, if the scriptures were written about me it would say, "Be busy, and try to stay out of God's way". Don't worry, I won't change the scriptures, I'll try to adapt myself to the Bible as it stands. First I will illustrate part of the problem I face in adapting to being still. Let me share some real life examples that make it hard to slow down. "Hey Ashley I know you have surgery today, but I have a question..." "Hey don't do too much... but could you make sure you are here for the four terminations we have on Thursday? Can you also finish payroll. Oh, and we need some severance packages too" "Hey Ashley just make sure you rest... but could you start working with a loan officer to buy the house? Would you mind review...
Read more

Ode to the "Great Harvester"

Image
For two years I have had a companion in the "great harvester". I'll never forget when I woke up in the hospital in 2022 and there was a bag attached to my side. I was told prior to the surgery that there was a 2% chance of such an event, but I couldn't understand how it had happened. The kindest nurse came in and tried to make it ok. She told me that naming things attached to our body can make them become less of a burden, and more of a blessing. At the time I wasn't in much of a joking mood, but tried to keep my humor... this Stoma would literally touch everything I ever ate. Thus the birth of the great harvester. During the past several years I cannot count the number of uncomfortable situations I have shared with the Great Harvester. Sometimes my stoma was far too powerful for the accompany bag and would spread it's goodness all over everywhere, and mostly all over me. Carrying an extra change of clothes (or three) became the norm. I learned very quic...
Read more