When Mother’s Day Hurts: Infertility and the Silent Struggle

Mother’s Day is a beautiful time of celebration for many. But for those who are walking the difficult path of infertility, it can be a day of heartache, quiet grief, and unspoken longing. While others are surrounded by flowers, cards, and family gatherings, many women feel left out of a celebration that touches the deepest part of their identity and hope. Why It Hurts Infertility is a private sorrow that often goes unseen. Every pregnancy announcement, baby shower, or Mother’s Day tribute can feel like a reminder of what hasn’t happened yet—or what may never come. The pain is real, even if it’s invisible to others. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once compassionately said: “To you who are single, widowed, divorced, or have no children, I say: Do not lose hope. The Lord loves you. He knows your heart. He has not forgotten you.” —Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother”, April 1997 This reassurance is vital. God sees the whole picture. He understands the desires of our hearts and honors the silent sacrifices that often go unnoticed. What Not to Say on Social Media As we share love and gratitude on Mother’s Day, it’s wise to be mindful of our words. Some messages, though well-intentioned, can be painful for those who are grieving. Here are a few examples of what to avoid: “Being a mom is the only thing that truly matters.” “Real women become mothers.” “You don’t understand love until you have kids.” “Happy Mother’s Day to all women—because we’re all mothers in some way.” (This may feel dismissive to someone who is still hoping for that blessing.) “I’m so blessed to be a mom—it’s the greatest gift anyone could have.” While motherhood is divine and beautiful, it is not the only way women serve, love, and fulfill their eternal purpose. A Gospel-Centered Perspective In the gospel of Jesus Christ, we are taught that no blessing will be withheld eternally from the faithful. “Be we all reminded that, in the Lord’s own way and time, no blessings will be withheld from His faithful Saints." - Russell M. Nelson "Celestial Marriage", October 2008 This is a reminder that God’s timing is not always ours—but His promises are sure. President Russell M. Nelson offered this hopeful truth: “All women are mothers because all women bring life to the world in some way.” —Russell M. Nelson, “A Plea to My Sisters”, October 2015 Still, it’s okay if that truth doesn’t take away the pain today. Grief and faith can exist side by side. How We Can Help If you're celebrating Mother’s Day this year, consider also offering quiet support to those who are mourning. You can: Reach out with a private message to someone you know is struggling. Acknowledge the mixed emotions the day may bring. Be gentle with your words online. The Savior taught us to “mourn with those that mourn” (Mosiah 18:9), and Mother’s Day offers a sacred opportunity to do just that.