You've got it wrong

To begin today I start by quoting a text message I received yesterday from a friend of mine. Said she, "I can't let myself think about it because I cherish his friendship."

 Now to explain further let me give you some context. As many young single adults do, we were having a discussion about dating. A particular person she discovered interest in was one of her very best friends. She therefore discounted him and took him out of the running.

Something about this drew me to great distress. Haven't we been taught our entire lives to marry our best friends? Why on earth would you take someone out of the running because they are your friend? Shouldn't that make a person more of a choice?

As a Latter-Day Saint, I view marriage as an eternal covenant. This means that I'm not marrying someone for here and now, but for eternity. Personally, when the thought of eternity comes to my mind I don't imagine being with some stranger that I met on the street randomly one day. I envision being with someone who knows me and still loves me anyway. (disclaimer: sure you can meet someone on the street randomly one day and then become friends and then fall in love)

I've heard it said that love is friendship on fire. To me that description implies taking a friendship up a notch. It means having charity for another person and also being attracted to them on a different level. It means you marry your best friend!

Some may argue that the greatest reason people get married is for sex. I would argue that the greatest reason people get married is for companionship. When you look around at the single people in the world it is the absence of companionship that makes them the most distraught. Everyone wants a friend. Everyone needs a friend. We progress better through life with an eternal companion.

What is an eternal companion? Someone to work with. Someone to laugh with. Someone to cry with. Someone to talk to about anything. Someone to pray with. Someone to serve with. Someone to become better with. Are these not the very same characteristics as a friend?

So to that friend who sent the message, and everyone else I plead with you not to discount those you call your friends, but to search among your friends for your marriage partner. I honestly believe that greater happiness will come into your life as you marry your best friend!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Mother’s Day Hurts: Infertility and the Silent Struggle

Image
Mother’s Day is a beautiful time of celebration for many. But for those who are walking the difficult path of infertility, it can be a day of heartache, quiet grief, and unspoken longing. While others are surrounded by flowers, cards, and family gatherings, many women feel left out of a celebration that touches the deepest part of their identity and hope. Why It Hurts Infertility is a private sorrow that often goes unseen. Every pregnancy announcement, baby shower, or Mother’s Day tribute can feel like a reminder of what hasn’t happened yet—or what may never come. The pain is real, even if it’s invisible to others. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland once compassionately said: “To you who are single, widowed, divorced, or have no children, I say: Do not lose hope. The Lord loves you. He knows your heart. He has not forgotten you.” —Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother”, April 1997 This reassurance is vital. God sees the whole picture. He understands the desires of our hearts and ho...
Read more

The Battle to Be Still

Image
Post surgery I continue to hear the phrase "just rest!" It's ironic because this phrase has created an internal and external battle for me. I have not been blessed with the gift of being still. In fact, if the scriptures were written about me it would say, "Be busy, and try to stay out of God's way". Don't worry, I won't change the scriptures, I'll try to adapt myself to the Bible as it stands. First I will illustrate part of the problem I face in adapting to being still. Let me share some real life examples that make it hard to slow down. "Hey Ashley I know you have surgery today, but I have a question..." "Hey don't do too much... but could you make sure you are here for the four terminations we have on Thursday? Can you also finish payroll. Oh, and we need some severance packages too" "Hey Ashley just make sure you rest... but could you start working with a loan officer to buy the house? Would you mind review...
Read more

Ode to the "Great Harvester"

Image
For two years I have had a companion in the "great harvester". I'll never forget when I woke up in the hospital in 2022 and there was a bag attached to my side. I was told prior to the surgery that there was a 2% chance of such an event, but I couldn't understand how it had happened. The kindest nurse came in and tried to make it ok. She told me that naming things attached to our body can make them become less of a burden, and more of a blessing. At the time I wasn't in much of a joking mood, but tried to keep my humor... this Stoma would literally touch everything I ever ate. Thus the birth of the great harvester. During the past several years I cannot count the number of uncomfortable situations I have shared with the Great Harvester. Sometimes my stoma was far too powerful for the accompany bag and would spread it's goodness all over everywhere, and mostly all over me. Carrying an extra change of clothes (or three) became the norm. I learned very quic...
Read more