Road trip to eternity
Once upon a weekend I had the opportunity to spend 12 hours alone in a car with a couple who recently became engaged. As a single adult admittedly there may have been moments when I wanted to hit my head against the window, but when I truly stopped and observed I was surprised at how much I learned! Ironically, I ended up being extremely thankful for those precious hours. God is good to let us learn through experience. So here it goes ... time to dish the good, the bad, and the ugly for those less fortunate than I who missed the experience.
First, basic linguistic research (done by yours truly) showed that the most commonly asked question by either party in the relationship was the level of their comfort. Simply,"Are you comfortable?" Sometimes this would go back and forth about 5 times in a two minute time period, which may seem excessive, but actually when you think about it, is quite remarkable. In a world so focused on selfish tendencies we often forget to check on people and see how they are. If you are truly in love with someone else then your number one priority often becomes their needs and happiness, or should become such. Based on this research fact alone, I am happy to report my friends are definitely in love! :)
Second, deep conversation is both necessary, and meaningful in a relationship. As a silent observer some of the time I was able to listen to what the couple chose to discuss . Knowing them as I do I guess I wasn't all together too surprised at what their topics of conversation were, but the depth at which they discussed these said topics was inspiring. Everything from their favorite scriptures, to what they wanted to teach their children were talked about. There wasn't too much silence either. While the pioneer children sang as they walked and walked and walked, I found myself singing while they talked and talked and talked. But that's how it should be! We learn from Dallin H. Oaks the value of inquiring well. They have a gift for that!
Third, humor is the key to finding joy in the journey. My friends sure did know how to laugh. Admittedly, some of the inside jokes didn't seem too funny to an observer, but they sure got a kick out of themselves! :) They told each other silly stories and made up jokes. They laughed at each others comments, and they laughed together at me! Heck, when they got caught kissing in the back seat while I drove, they even laughed at me! (Note to self learn to kiss quietly!)
Fourth, show affection freely. No matter how uncomfortable it may have been at times this couple sure knew how to show their love and affection to each other. I began to notice how increasingly difficult and uncomfortable their lives became if they weren't touching in some way. This is mostly because they are extremely twitterpatted at this phase in their lives, but I see in my minds eye how grossed out their future children will be. Their kids will never doubt that their parents are in love!
Fifth, use time in a relationship in meaningful ways. One of the topics that came up that surprised me a bit was the fact that the whippersnappers had only ever watched about half of a movie together. (No this isn't because they kissed all the way through.. though that may be part of it :) They talked about all of the ways they tried to be productive and get things done together. They talked about using their time to set goals, to develop talents, to serve others, and to become better people. Not only do they enjoy quantity time, but they enjoy quality time!
So to summerize mostly we talked about good things that I learned on this trip. I will let you figure out what I mean by the bad and the ugly! My advice, if you are starting a relationship follow their example. If you are married, try to keep as much of your relationship as fresh and new as the time you fell in love. If you are single, look forward to the future, because someday you'll get your chance to gross out other people too! :)
First, basic linguistic research (done by yours truly) showed that the most commonly asked question by either party in the relationship was the level of their comfort. Simply,"Are you comfortable?" Sometimes this would go back and forth about 5 times in a two minute time period, which may seem excessive, but actually when you think about it, is quite remarkable. In a world so focused on selfish tendencies we often forget to check on people and see how they are. If you are truly in love with someone else then your number one priority often becomes their needs and happiness, or should become such. Based on this research fact alone, I am happy to report my friends are definitely in love! :)
Second, deep conversation is both necessary, and meaningful in a relationship. As a silent observer some of the time I was able to listen to what the couple chose to discuss . Knowing them as I do I guess I wasn't all together too surprised at what their topics of conversation were, but the depth at which they discussed these said topics was inspiring. Everything from their favorite scriptures, to what they wanted to teach their children were talked about. There wasn't too much silence either. While the pioneer children sang as they walked and walked and walked, I found myself singing while they talked and talked and talked. But that's how it should be! We learn from Dallin H. Oaks the value of inquiring well. They have a gift for that!
Third, humor is the key to finding joy in the journey. My friends sure did know how to laugh. Admittedly, some of the inside jokes didn't seem too funny to an observer, but they sure got a kick out of themselves! :) They told each other silly stories and made up jokes. They laughed at each others comments, and they laughed together at me! Heck, when they got caught kissing in the back seat while I drove, they even laughed at me! (Note to self learn to kiss quietly!)
Fourth, show affection freely. No matter how uncomfortable it may have been at times this couple sure knew how to show their love and affection to each other. I began to notice how increasingly difficult and uncomfortable their lives became if they weren't touching in some way. This is mostly because they are extremely twitterpatted at this phase in their lives, but I see in my minds eye how grossed out their future children will be. Their kids will never doubt that their parents are in love!
Fifth, use time in a relationship in meaningful ways. One of the topics that came up that surprised me a bit was the fact that the whippersnappers had only ever watched about half of a movie together. (No this isn't because they kissed all the way through.. though that may be part of it :) They talked about all of the ways they tried to be productive and get things done together. They talked about using their time to set goals, to develop talents, to serve others, and to become better people. Not only do they enjoy quantity time, but they enjoy quality time!
So to summerize mostly we talked about good things that I learned on this trip. I will let you figure out what I mean by the bad and the ugly! My advice, if you are starting a relationship follow their example. If you are married, try to keep as much of your relationship as fresh and new as the time you fell in love. If you are single, look forward to the future, because someday you'll get your chance to gross out other people too! :)
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