Just another manic monday
Do you ever had days when you feel like you have reached your limit. You can't possibly continue forward because you are spent and too tired to want to try? Yeah I haven't had one of those days since yesterday. After over 6 months of being ill with no answers, it was just another Manic Monday as the song would say.
I was returning to my office after running to the bathroom for the 7th time in not too many hours, and trying to remain positive and focused on work. The thought came to turn on the radio. After a couple of songs the radio spoke to me. "If you're going through Hell, keep on moving.... you might get out before the Devil even knows you're there". I could not stop laughing. God knew how frustrated I had been feeling. While I can't say I often use such a song to find comfort and solace, at that particular moment it was really working for me. Laughter was the medicine I needed to make it through the rest of that work day. Even though my problem did not stop, and the bathroom continued to be my friend, I had a temporary release from it all.
After that moment I started to pay attention to what other moments of relief I was granted during the day. A good friend and former roommate and her family showed up and I got to chat briefly and see a smiling and supportive face. It meant a lot. I made it through another few hours of work and to the home stretch. What a blessing!
As I drove home Satan began to remind me of how hard my life had become. That booger is pretty good at trying to make you feel negative. But God in His mercy sent me a little brother and friend from across the street who came and held me while I wept. Venting my frustrations allowed me to feel once again that I could go forward for just a bit longer.
Later my roommate checked the mail and what to my wondering eye should appear? Envelopes that were not bills or junk mail! A thoughtful 97 year old grandmother had written a card to tell me she was thinking of me. Another envelop contained a thank you note from a temple matron. Such sweet kindnesses softened my heart even farther.
Today I still don't have answers for my health, but I am reminded, that God loves His children. He reaches out to us. He uses his angels here on the earth to minister to our very souls. He hears our prayers, and while he doesn't always take away the burdens, he does give us the strength and power to bear them.
To any who are struggling with chronic illness, or trial of any kind I am learning empathy for you. I am sorry it is hard. I don't know the answers. I don't have any quick fix tries that you should employ. All I can offer is my prayers, my hope, my love, and my firm belief that there is someone greater than us all watching over us. God is real. He is there, and if you're going through Hell, keep on moving!
I was returning to my office after running to the bathroom for the 7th time in not too many hours, and trying to remain positive and focused on work. The thought came to turn on the radio. After a couple of songs the radio spoke to me. "If you're going through Hell, keep on moving.... you might get out before the Devil even knows you're there". I could not stop laughing. God knew how frustrated I had been feeling. While I can't say I often use such a song to find comfort and solace, at that particular moment it was really working for me. Laughter was the medicine I needed to make it through the rest of that work day. Even though my problem did not stop, and the bathroom continued to be my friend, I had a temporary release from it all.
After that moment I started to pay attention to what other moments of relief I was granted during the day. A good friend and former roommate and her family showed up and I got to chat briefly and see a smiling and supportive face. It meant a lot. I made it through another few hours of work and to the home stretch. What a blessing!
As I drove home Satan began to remind me of how hard my life had become. That booger is pretty good at trying to make you feel negative. But God in His mercy sent me a little brother and friend from across the street who came and held me while I wept. Venting my frustrations allowed me to feel once again that I could go forward for just a bit longer.
Later my roommate checked the mail and what to my wondering eye should appear? Envelopes that were not bills or junk mail! A thoughtful 97 year old grandmother had written a card to tell me she was thinking of me. Another envelop contained a thank you note from a temple matron. Such sweet kindnesses softened my heart even farther.
Today I still don't have answers for my health, but I am reminded, that God loves His children. He reaches out to us. He uses his angels here on the earth to minister to our very souls. He hears our prayers, and while he doesn't always take away the burdens, he does give us the strength and power to bear them.
To any who are struggling with chronic illness, or trial of any kind I am learning empathy for you. I am sorry it is hard. I don't know the answers. I don't have any quick fix tries that you should employ. All I can offer is my prayers, my hope, my love, and my firm belief that there is someone greater than us all watching over us. God is real. He is there, and if you're going through Hell, keep on moving!
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