Life: The ordinary miracle

While growing up my parents frequently asked me to take out the trash. It is a simple task, but if you don't do it weird smells can fill the entire kitchen, and at times the entire hours. This can make living everyday life less enjoyable. It may sound strange, but it made me think, couldn't the same be true for clearing the trash out of souls? Dating for me has been more adventurous than I care to admit. Many young men have sadly been more interested in having an object than a relationship. This happened to me again pretty recently. My friend of over a year decided to cross the friend boundary and make things more complicated. Long story short he wanted a physical relationship only when he wanted it and when it suited him best. He wanted me to come when he called and on his terms. He pushed boundaries and ignored the word no. He didn't make me feel too good. In fact, he made me feel like trash. Suddenly someone I trusted and often relied on became someone that I ...

Thoughts swirling in my head. “you would be better off dead”, “Just quit trying, you are tried” and other precarious versions along the same lines. Darkness surrounding me, sadness from a depth I can’t identify. Anxiety at an all time high. Sleep, I can’t get enough sleep, 10 or 12 hours and still so exhausted. Making plans and committing to anything becomes an overwhelming burden. Being in charge of anyone in any scenario becomes the hardest of all. Others depending on me when I can’t depend on myself. Tears, fountains of tears.   I hear in my head, “Help! You need help!” Jeffery R Holland said, “Among the realities we face as children of God living in a fallen world is that some days are difficult, days when our faith and our fortitude are tested. These challenges may come from a lack in us, a lack in others, or just a lack in life, but whatever the reasons, we find they can rob us of songs we so much want to sing”   Oh how I want to sing the joy filled songs. “Wh...

          Do you ever had days when you feel like you have reached your limit. You can't possibly continue forward because you are spent and too tired to want to try? Yeah I haven't had one of those days since yesterday. After over 6 months of being ill with no answers, it was just another Manic Monday as the song would say.        I was returning to my office after running to the bathroom for the 7th time in not too many hours, and trying to remain positive and focused on work. The thought came to turn on the radio. After a couple of songs the radio spoke to me. "If you're going through Hell, keep on moving.... you might get out before the Devil even knows you're there". I could not stop laughing. God knew how frustrated I had been feeling. While I can't say I often use such a song to find comfort and solace, at that particular moment it was really working for me. Laughter was the medicine I needed to make it through the rest of that work d...