Just say no!

Have you ever had those days when you wake up and your to do list has more things on it then there are hours in the day? Have you ever felt like you had too much to do and far too little time with which to do it? Well recently this is where I found myself. With good intentions abounding I started to commit myself to helping people with thing after thing. Suddenly along with 2 jobs, 2 side jobs,  and 2 callings in church, I also had several other volunteer opportunities, and many commitments that I was unable to fully complete. Meanwhile, I also had a growing pile of dirty laundry, an empty refrigerator, black circles were forming under my eyes,  I was becoming less patient with everyone around me, and I was becoming unhappy from a thing that usually brings me great amounts of joy.

The things I said that I would do were happening very slowly, if at all. Then it occurred to me that even though I had the intentions of helping people I wasn't helping them at all because I was procrastinating the inevitable. A buddy at work was very concerned at the growing list of things I was supposed to accomplish each day. He urged me to learn one simple word. No! It has made all the difference. It's not a lesson that I am learning quickly, but it is one that I am learning over time.

Before in my life I used to always think that saying no was very unChristlike. I felt like if Christ had the time He would do it. In my overzealous nature I was trying to act like Christ and do the things I thought that He would do. I was holding myself accountable for these things as if I were the Savior himself. It was leaving me very frustrated, overwhelmed, and actually quite useless. One should always try to become better, but one should never try to fill a role that has already been taken.

Think of it. When you are working or committed to a project for more than 12 hours per day, how can you help someone who is in need. How can you stop and give someone a ride, or go and take cookies to a friend who is having a hard day? How can you take the time to call your family, and talk with them? How can you magnify your calling? Develop talents? Be a good friend? From my personal experience you cannot! The very essence of the lifestyle you are trying to develop becomes the farthest from reality.  

What I am starting to learn is that sometimes "no" is the most Christlike answer you can give. If you are honest with people and tell them that you actually can't accomplish something it gives them the chance to find someone who actually can. If you say no, you are also being honest with yourself and realizing that you are not super human with the capacity to do a thousand things a minute. If you say no, sometimes you will find more energy to put into the things you can do, and make them even better. If you say no, you will have time to take care of the things that you need to do for yourself each day. In a nutshell, I am learning that if you sometimes say no, you will actually be more like the Savior and better able to serve when the time comes that someone really does need you!

As a disclaimer, I am not excusing myself or anyone from service or helping people. I am not saying that no should be your first reaction, and I actually think that with all things it should be used in moderation. What I am saying is that it is ok, and even preferred that you do say no when it is for the benefit of everyone involved.